He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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