Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
