How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
