508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
