so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
