last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Randomize
