Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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