Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
