bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
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