if you like me you must not know who I am
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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