When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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