Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
