OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
