definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
