Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
that is very illegal...i love you.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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