Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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