I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
