First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
