My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
COCAINE IS GR8
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
