Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
