You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
