I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
