Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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