Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
