I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
