Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
