Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
