You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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