What a fucking waste of an outfit
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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