i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
