i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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