This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
