She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
