why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
