All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
