Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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