I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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