When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
