I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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