Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
