Ambien. No doubt about it.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
