worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
