My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
