i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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