I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
