I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
