We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
