And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
