I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
