Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
