I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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